Coping

                       



When I first saw this movie, I was surprised by how good it was.  But now I've been watching it frequently.  I don't know why, but I need to be surrounded by people who experienced loss (even if portrayed in a film).  Something about being able to identify with specific feelings and thoughts when I can't articulate them quiets the relentless uneasiness at the back of my mind.  Some parents can't watch or read movies and books depicting pregnancy and infant loss because it triggers their grief.  But I'm the complete opposite.  Walking outside and pretending nothing happened is more of a trigger. Wearing clothes that now hug my post pregnancy pooch is more of a trigger.  Going to the supermarket during the day is more of a trigger.  Laughing at something my husband said is more of a trigger  Not talking about what happened and accepting that some people have to make difficult decisions while others don't is more of a trigger.  The OB/GYN I saw about conceiving again had no concerns that it would happen and her no worry confidence is more of a trigger.  But watching, reading, writing, and talking about pregnancy and infant loss kind of okays the moment because I don't feel alone.  I forget the despair and I feel somewhat normal without anger.